Not much about Jude’s birth went as I envisioned it. I
thought I’d wake up in the middle of the night and start to have labor pains. I
would wake my husband, Philip, and that we would eventually head to the
hospital after laboring at home for awhile. I had a playlist made for the
occasion to make the hospital feel like home.
One week after our baby’s due date we headed to the doctor’s
for another prenatal appointment where they had planned to do a Non-stress test
(NST). When I got there the doctor said they forgot to schedule an ultrasound.
So we promptly went in to get an ultrasound. The ultrasound tech mentions to
us, “has anyone said anything about the baby being really big?” I kind of laugh
and say, “yes, he has been in the 100th percentile for size every
ultrasound we have had.” She says, “well, I am measuring the baby at 10lbs
11oz.” The reality of what this could mean doesn’t hit me though and I just
think its funny for some reason. I had read a lot about how ultrasounds could be
up to two pounds off. We wait to see the doctor and Philip looks nervous. I am
still feeling fine.
Until we see the doctor. She tells us we need to schedule an
induction or a c-section. She goes over the risks of the induction and giving
birth to that size baby. Something about a shoulder getting stuck. Something
about permanent debilitating damage to the baby. I start to feel my dreams of a
natural birth unraveling and my eyes start to water. She gives us some time to
talk, but we need more time to make a decision and leave to go discuss it and
talk to our families. The other glitch was they could not get me on the
schedule to be induced for four more days. And that would be four more days for
the baby to gain weight.
Despite
everything I read about ultrasounds being off, I couldn’t ignore the fact that
the “very accurate” ultrasound tech thought he was almost 11lbs. So we went
with the c-section. I had a day to prepare, but was so sad. It was like death
to a vision. I never understood that before. Why would people be so sad over a
c-section? I won’t get into that now, but I felt like I was missing out on this
very hard, but exciting experience of giving birth to your child.
Here I am the night before Jude's birth:
Here is my sweet husband gearing up for the surgery. I have to say...we did have fun those last few minutes together without Judah.
And I wasn't going to share this, but it's too funny to me. I look ridiculous. Philip and I were joking about how hot I looked in the gown. Nice...
to be continued...
